12 Ways to Support Teammates with Mental Health Struggles

In honor of tragedies within the student-athlete community over the last year, it feels important and needed to create space for a conversation surrounding how athletes can tangibly support and serve teammates in the midst of their mental health difficulties.

I have been the teammate who was struggling with their mental health. When I look back and reflect on how friends and mentors helped me in times of need, I can see how their acceptance of my struggles helped me arrive at a place where I could accept them too. And acceptance is typically what empowered me to grow, heal and change. Whether I was aware of it or not, the grace and compassion I received from people and Jesus, made hope bloom inside me.

I have also been the one to come alongside various teammates struggling with their mental health, and let me be the first to say that this process is certainly not black and white. There is no cookie-cutter set of action steps that will be effective in every single situation. What worked well for me might not work well for you. However, I do believe there is still value in drawing from my personal experiences. I want to briefly take the time to acknowledge that I am still learning, failing, and growing. My mental health journey is a lifelong process and these nuggets of wisdom are just as much for me as they are for you. So let’s dive in!

1. Positive change begins with intentionally creating and holding space for our teammates to be known. 

Extend invitations to grab coffee, go on walks or get meals together. God created us with the essential need to be seen and we are invited to participate in this holy work of holding space. How often have you asked a teammate how they’re doing and genuinely meant it?

2. Listen to understand rather than respond. Be graciously persistent. 

Do your best to listen without judgement and be patient. Your teammates may perceive your attempts to help them as a threat. They may be stuck in denial. This may require a steadfast commitment on your part. Don’t expect appreciation. In fact, you might receive the opposite. Please know this is normal. It may take awhile for a foundation of trust to be established within the relationship so that individuals feel comfortable enough to come out of their shell.

3. If your teammate shares their feelings with you, validate the emotions and feelings they are experiencing. 

Try to avoid jumping straight into “fix it” mode. This can make your teammate feel like a problem to solve, rather than a human being with innate desires to be seen, heard and known.

4. Fight to be teammates who influence by getting into the trenches with people. Offer your presence and simply be with them. 

The crucifixion paints a clear picture of how Jesus suffers for his people. His love for his people and his desire to be loved by them drives Jesus to bear our burdens and suffer with and for us. When you are discouraged to the point that you are speechless, the Spirit cares and intercedes for you. So, how can we be a reflection of Christ? How can we suffer with and intercede for our teammates? In Romans 12:15, Jesus commands us to rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Offer comfort and support. Let your teammate know that it is okay to be imperfect and unfinished. It doesn’t mean they are doing anything wrong. Let your teammate know that you are not disappointed in them. Those struggling with their mental health generally need to know a few things: that they’re loved, they’re not alone, and someone will walk alongside them through difficult times.

5. After your teammate has time to process, ask how you can help them.

 Even if they don’t have an answer, this shows that you care and want to stay involved rather than retreat. Fight against the lies on behalf of your teammate. Continue to let them know that you believe in them. Hearing this really helped me, especially when I experienced setbacks.

6. Be consistent. Follow up with your teammate by checking in with them every once and a while. 

If your teammate is struggling to get rid of a negative behavior or coping mechanism, offer to be an accountability partner. Celebrate their victories with them, both big and small.

7. Encourage your teammate to talk with a mental health professional while refraining from telling them what to do.

If they decide to go to counseling, offer to help with booking their appointment, walk with them to their appointments or pick them up afterwards. A friend walked with me to my appointments and it always filled me with immense comfort and courage to have her by my side.

8. Remind your teammate that they are more than an athlete and they are more than their mental health difficulty.

Their mental health struggle is shaping them into the person they are, but it is not who they are. Their true identity is based on what they mean to God. They are chosen, accepted, redeemed, forgiven, a daughter of God, a new creation, beloved, bearer of God’s image, God’s masterpiece, created with a purpose and greatly loved. Because of the cross, God no longer identifies them by what we have done or what has been done to them. In fact, God sees them as Jesus was: pure and without blemish.

9. Be willing to ask the hard questions. 

As I said before, every situation is unique, so different questions may be appropriate for different situations. At the end of the day, you have to listen and trust your intuition. If you suspect your teammate could be in danger, please get additional help by reaching out to a trusted adult, mentor, or coach.

10. Educate yourself on mental health to not only increase your knowledge, but also your empathy and understanding for others.

 People with mental health struggles may perceive the world and those around them very differently than you. Find a few books pertaining to mental health and give them a read. Listen to podcasts. Follow accounts on social media that raise mental health awareness. There are so many resources out there!

11. Pray for your teammate.

Pray that instead of looking for answers, they will look for Jesus. Pray they will sense the grace and presence of God and be open to receiving it. Pray they will give themselves permission to show up, honestly before God and let God speak to them with kindness. Pray their trust in the Lord would not be dependent on their healing, but rather, on His character. Pray they will believe that they can learn to live well despite mental health difficulties, that quality of life isn’t only about our circumstances or struggles, but also the skills you develop along the journey. Pray they will fight for wholeness. Pray they would know that people like you are cheering them on, that there are people who can believe better things for them when they can’t believe in themselves. Pray they remember to borrow hope from others when theirs is running thin. May the voice of unconditional love be the clearest voice they hear.

12. Please take care of yourself while you’re taking care of others. 

Create and hold boundaries that honor your voice, limits and experience to prevent yourself from burnout. Consider going to counseling. Whether you feel like it or not, you are worthy of the care you extend to so many others. Create space to spend time with Jesus. As you become aware of God within yourself, you tend to recognize God around you, especially in other people. And when we are able to see the image of God in ourselves and others, genuine empathy emerges. If you feel unequipped, or you’re unsure if you can help, please remember that you bear the image of God in a unique way that no one else in the universe ever has. No one can serve others like you can. Lean into the gifts God has given you and let grace be your guide. 

“And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” -1 Peter 5:10

Amanda Dahlman

Hi everyone! My name is Amanda Dahlman and I am a former college volleyball player. I graduated from Messiah University in May of 2021, and now I am pursuing a Master’s Degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. I am deeply passionate about the intersection of mental health, sports and faith. I am a lover of Jesus, meaningful conversations, cuddling with dogs, receiving hugs, and sunshine.