When Competition is Unhealthy Comparison

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I am a very competitive person, and I think most athletes can relate. Competition isn’t inherently bad. My competitive nature is what drives me to improve and be better each day. However, when competition is a mask for comparison, it is detrimental. Playing soccer in high school and college, there was constantly a comparison dialogue in my head:

  • “This girl beat me one-on-on this time, but I know I have better ball control than she does.” 

  • “She may be faster than me, but at least I read the game better than she does.” 

  • “She has more goals and assists than me, but I work way harder defending.” 

  • “She’s on a better team than I am, but I still have better grades.” 


Each time I compare myself to someone else’s performance, I always find a way to convince myself that I’m still the best. 

“She’s good… BUT I’m still better.” 

I do this in all areas of my life! I don’t play as much soccer as I used to so the comparison dialogue in my head has changed but it is still there. 

  • “My friends hang out a lot without me, but I have a career job that is meaningful and pays well.” 

  • “She looks so skinny and fit, but my friends are more fun than hers” 

  • “They travel to so many awesome places, but I’m way ahead on saving money for the future.” 


I would never say these comparisons out loud because not only are they ridiculous, they are mean! I just find ways to tell myself that I am superior… for reasons that don’t make sense! 

“She’s good… BUT I’m still better.” 

I never realized how frequently this comparison dialogue played in my head until I was walking by a co-worker’s classroom. I teach at a high school, and this particular co-worker always is helping students after school - with academic and life stuff. 

  • “She makes such an impact on students’ lives, but at least I’m not behind on my grading.” 

  • “Students may like her better, but I am probably better at lesson planning.” 

“She’s good… BUT I’m still better.” 

When I got to my car, it hit me how ridiculous and unhealthy these comparison thoughts are. I started to think about what God says about comparison and competition. I knew the Bible talks about running a race. Even though the authors may not specifically intend it this way, when I read “race,” I think competition and an opportunity to be the best and win. It took me a while to realize that race mentioned in the Bible is not a race against other people. 

The race marked out for me is not on a typical track with 8-9 lanes and 8-9 other runners. The race marked out for me is on a track with one lane. There are no other runners on the track. In fact, there aren’t even any other runners in the stadium! Other runners have their own single lane track in their own stadium, and their tracks and stadiums look very different than my own. Each of us has a race set before us that isn’t against any one else, but towards Jesus. Like it says in Hebrews 12.1, we need to “fix our eyes on Jesus” and Jesus alone. The goal of the race is to get closer and closer to Jesus, growing in faith, love for others, and knowledge of what he’s done. 

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Hebrews 12.1-2 has been helpful for me to fight this comparison dialogue in my head. I don’t notice them every time but when I do notice comparison thoughts, I remind myself “We’re not in the same race” or “I need to fix my eyes on Jesus.” 

“She’s good… and that’s great because we are in different races, working to get closer to Jesus.” 

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.” - Hebrews 12.1-2

 
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Claire Steinhaus

Hey FAM! I grew up in Santa Barbara, CA and went to college Point Loma Nazarene University where I played soccer! Now I teach middle school science in Orange County. I love cooking, talking and walking with friends, and exploring new places. Thanks for reading!