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When you hear the word “feedback,” what do you feel? Does it make you tense up, or do you crave it? How good are you at receiving feedback, and how comfortable are you with giving it? Today we have Jenna Failinger (née Lodewyk) back on the FAM podcast for a conversation all about feedback – why it’s important, how it can help us, and four pillars of both giving and receiving it well. I think this topic is so critical for athletes and coaches alike, as well as any Christian in pursuit of growth and holiness. I hope you’ll be encouraged by Jenna’s wisdom and walk away with some additional tools in your toolkit.
How can we get better at receiving feedback? So often we can find ourselves caught off guard when it’s given to us. Jenna strongly encourages us to do the work in this area now because we won’t have time to do that prep work in the moment. She lays out four core pillars for receiving feedback well:
You want to grow. Are you excited for the potential growth that can come from feedback? Sometimes we can think ignorance is bliss, but it’s not! Feedback helps identify growth areas.
You are secure in your identity. Remember, you are not your performance. God knows that you’re never going to do things perfectly. I love Jenna’s mantra about this: “Be yourself, don’t prove yourself.”
You are willing to say “thank you.” This shows your heart posture toward the person giving feedback. After all, they might be outside their comfort zone, too!
You invite God into the difficult moments. Are you living a life of prayer in the little moments and conversations throughout the day, including the hard ones? Start by asking the Holy Spirit for wisdom and an increase in the fruits of the Spirit.
And as coaches, teammates, friends, spouses… how can we improve at giving feedback that’s both helpful and honoring? It starts by having an established relationship with and getting our hearts right toward the other person. Jenna explains how you can know you’re ready to give feedback:
You’re willing to put the problem in front of, rather than between, you and the other person. Instead of using a “me vs. you” approach, how can you tackle the problem as a team? Make sure you’re staying curious and not assuming you’re completely in the right.
You’re ready to listen and ask deeper questions. You can accept that you might not fully understand the situation. Extend the same grace toward others that Jesus has extended toward you.
You recognize the other person’s strengths. You see their potential and encourage them to leverage their strengths to address the challenges. We all have a condemning voice in our heads already, so we don’t need more condemnation!
You’re able to own your part. Instead of playing the blame game, can you identify ways you may be contributing to the issue? Then, do you have the humility to make changes that will benefit both the giver and receiver of the feedback?
3 key takeaways from this episode:
Why feedback matters as a Christian and an athlete
Feedback is a crucial part of the growth process for any athlete. Plus, it’s biblical! Proverbs 15:31-32 says, “Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise. Those who disregard discipline despise themselves, but the one who heeds correction gains understanding.”
Four pillars of getting better at receiving feedback
Jenna shares four pillars for improving your ability to receive feedback: we have to want to grow, we have to be secure in our identities in Christ, we need to be willing to say “thank you,” and we should endeavor to invite God into every moment – especially the difficult ones.
Four signs you’re ready to give feedback to others
Next, Jenna shares four ways to recognize when you’re in a place to give feedback: you’re willing to put the problem in front of you instead of between you, you’re able to listen and ask the right questions, you recognize the recipient’s strengths, and you can own your part.
Here are all the things mentioned in this episode:
